Gabrielle F, Adoptee:
Gabbi’s Journey Through Adoption, Loss, and Love
The Light and Love of Two Mothers
In the middle of the night, a phone rang. Gabbi’s soon-to-be parents were told, their adoptive daughter was about to be born. They jumped in the car and drove two hours to the hospital, hearts pounding with anticipation and joy. Gabbi came into the world surrounded by love – from the woman who carried her and from the family who brought her into their lives.
Who is the woman in the mirror?
Gabbi always knew she was adopted. There was no dramatic reveal, no sit-down conversation, just the word floating in the air as naturally as her name. But as she got older, she wondered about the young woman in the mirror. Who was she becoming? Who do the features looking back at her belong to?
This quiet question stayed with her over the years, and when she turned eighteen, the answer arrived from an unexpected source. Gabbi had a genetic half-sister who found Gabbi through Instagram, having searched with nothing more than Gabbi’s first and middle name. Her sister sent an email with the subject line: Biological Sister??? With it was a photograph Gabbi had never seen before—her birth mother, holding Gabbi as a newborn.
The only portrait Gabrielle has of her birth mother, Donna
More answers and more questions
Over time, their correspondence continued and more emails arrived. One, included the image of a newspaper clipping that detailed a violent altercation involving their mother. The article was dated before Gabbi had been conceived. “It made me question,” she said, “What kind of people am I related to?” She’d heard her birth mother was a kind and generous woman but also someone working through issues.
Gabbi’s quest for the truth eventually led her to her birth mother. But it was too late to get the answers she sought. Her birth mother had passed away. Yet, still filled with questions about her birth family, Gabbi decided to attend the ceremony where her birth mother’s ashes were spread. She invited her adoptive parents to join her. After all, they’d met her birth mother. They knew her better than Gabbi did. They belonged in the moment, too.
Gabrielle and her adoptive parents on a roadtrip
A familiar face
The ceremony was in the middle of the pandemic and everyone wore medical masks. Gabbi and her biological siblings gathered together awkwardly. One by one, they lowered their masks so Gabbi could see them. When Gabbi lowered her mask, a hush fell over the group. “They looked at me like they’d seen a ghost,” she said. Out of seven siblings, she was the one who looked just like their mother.
When it came time to spread her mother’s ashes, Gabbi held them in her hands reflecting on her life and the life of the mother who carried her. She tried to feel something—some spiritual tether to the woman she never knew. But the moment was too surreal. It wasn’t until later, that Gabbi began to process what it meant to have two mothers.
Light and love from two mothers
That emotional journey led to a book, Mother Moon, Gabbi’s college thesis – an illustrated storybook about adoption. In it, the moon represents her adoptive mom. The sun, her birth mom. One reflects the other’s light onto Gabbi’s life. “The times I’ve felt my birth mother’s love,” she said, “have been through my (adoptive) family.” The idea that love can move through people like light through windows became a way for her to make peace with what she lost, and what she gained.
Gabbi speaks of her birth mother with softness now. “I didn’t even realize I needed to forgive her,” she said. But she did. Not because of any single moment—but because forgiveness let love move freely between the people who shaped her life, even the ones who couldn’t stay.
Today, Gabbi believes we are all children of someone. “Even if we’re not related, we’re here in the same space. We can share love.” To adoptive parents, she offers one simple, powerful piece of advice: Make room for your child to express what’s inside. “Everyone has a way of expressing,” she said. “And that’s where the healing begins.”
Gabrielle and her adoptive parents and grandparents